Narcissism
"Many women do not
possess a solid self-esteem. They establish an intact, self-confident facade to hide their
internal hurt, insecure and insignificant feeling of self. As a result, these women
attempt to fulfill their ideal self through accomplishing particularly high achievements
or perfectionism or attractiveness. If insulted, rejected or criticized they quickly feel
insecure and unloved. Thereby problems will occur in relationships, which range from
extreme fears of: being left behind to being completely taken advantage of. "
B. Wardetzki
Masculine narcissism
|
Feminine narcissism
|
|
Emphasizes
superiority |
Is
rooted in inferiority, depression and vulnerability |
|
Struggle
for recognition and autonomy |
Recognition based on obedient conformance to prevailing norms or standards |
|
Masculine
ideal of perfection |
Idolizes
the female that embodies the standard of perfection |
|
Compensates
own weakness through superiority |
Compensates
own weakness through excessive adaptation, performance and attractiveness
|
|
Distant,
primarily does not empathize |
Inflates
in others, empathizes and/or takes over feelings of others
|
|
Narcissistic
WE-feeling |
Negativity
|
|
Stabilization
of self value through partner and her admiration |
In
search and simultaneously in declination of an ideal self in partner and his achievements
|
| In search of substitute mother | Searches for substitute parents and self-control in partner, takes role of mother in a relationship |
|
Open
aggression, rebellion and depreciation |
Passive aggression, often expressed in denial, resistance and internal depreciation |
|
Role
of pursuer |
Role
of victim |
…..
If someone refuses a suggestion or wish in a common interest the narcissistic person may
feel deeply hurt and pushed back. Many women in fact believe that such refusal is
equivalent with the rejection of their own person.
.....
Others quickly insult a narcissistic person, if they behave differently than demanded or
expected
....
The fear of being rejected is so strong that they choose assimilation over the feeling of
being authentic and to act accordingly
....
Especially in times where they feel content, they are at risk of fabricating unpleasant
emotions. it's like they are not capable of dealing with the feeling of contentment.
....
The gratification of other’s desires is easy to fulfill for narcissistic women,
however her own wishes remain not respected
....
Since they do not have their own opinion, they will gratefully take over others, whereby
they have a hard time choosing which one is right for them
....
Feminine-narcissistic women eat plenty of food they don't really like, as well as do
things they don't really want to
....
Instead of asking themselves what they would like, they’d rather tend to depend on
others
....
They favor fixed regulations to help them orient a particular direction. Even in therapy,
female patients obey instructions without question and do not have the courage to
criticize if the instructions turn out to be a hindrance for their recovery later on.
....
They fail to take a stand for themselves and work out an individual solution, which would
be rational at that given time
....
The "What would you like?" question results in insecurity and doubt with women,
because they cannot imagine that they are capable of expressing their desires which the
supplicant will take seriously
.....
Narcissistic women are not capable of waiting for the therapeutic progress to heal. they
are inpatient and would like to be healthy at once
....
Due to the fact that they adapt things they are told very quickly, they avoid
responsibility and independent thinking
....
While they are puzzled of what they actually want, they tend to ask others for their
opinion rather then to come to a conclusion independently by which they are in danger of
adapting too much. (laziness)
Excerpts
of “Feminine Narcissism - The Hunger for Recognition” by B. Wardetzki